Post by Jessica R.

Parenting is a team effort. A real team. Not a “I’m going to tell you how to do things and you’re going to do them or else” team. Which seems easy on paper and gets a whole lot harder the day your significant other dresses your precious child in clothes that are a) miss-matched and b) too small.

Now, while your gut instinct might be to grab the child and rush back into the nursery to fix the wardrobe snafu, stop. Look up. Look at the beaming face of the person who dressed the child and know this: If you redress that child, that person will likely never want to dress the baby again.

There are any number of things that you and your significant other might not see eye to eye on – the importance of color coordination, the need for clean ears, the value of three balanced meals a day – but before you react to what you feel might be substandard attention to detail you have to ask yourself how much you want to be doing on your own.

I have a friend who bathes her children every night because she feels her husband doesn’t do a good enough job. I have another friend who enjoys a five minute break and overlooks a smudge or two that hasn’t been cleaned quite perfectly. Her kids spend more time with their dad.

Being part of a team is all about learning to compromise. The high school team project that was handled by the persnickety member who just couldn’t let go won’t be as well rounded and deep as the one that received equal input from each team member.

Being part of a parenting team is about learning to let go of your vision of how things should be done and embracing the fact that the other person’s way might have its merits. Yes, even if that means your child looks uncoordinated. Don’t worry. The bloom in your baby’s cheeks from the time spent with daddy will more than make up for it. And if it doesn’t, that’s what they make these buttons for.

I had one of my dreams come true the other day. I had the fortune of seeing Oprah in person at her annual O You! magazine seminar in San Francisco. The day turned out to be one of the best days of my life, surrounded by 4,000 people including 14 men, 1 of which was my husband and the rest women. Ms. Winfrey herself surprised the crowd by showing up at the end of the day. Besides being graced with her presence and her friends including Gayle King, Suze Orman, Martha Beck and Nate Berkus to name a few, the whole day taught me a lot, one thing of which I would like to share with you.

Speaking to the majority of women out there, she expressed our need to give to others relentlessly and not put ourselves as a priority. I wanted to relay the message for all of you mothers out there working hard to take care of your children, your husband and everyone else. Remember to be kind to yourself. Take some time to relax, spend time with friends and just be. Take it from me and Oprah!

Pass these links along to any new moms you know who are looking for a lift!

• BabyZone offers their readers’ best advice for new moms, from letting friends and family help out to how to talk to your new baby.
• Feel overwhelmed by all the new changes in your life? Everyday Health proves that you aren’t alone.
• Ban the post-baby diet! BabyCenter lists the best energy-boosting foods for new moms looking to regain their shape.
• If you’ve been cleared by your doctor and you’re ready to start a workout regime, check out SheKnows‘ top five fitness tips for new moms.
• Read through Showing’s list of quick tips to make mom feel fabulous with baby in tow!