19
Jan

Mom Talk: Learning to Let Go

Post by Jessica R.

Parenting is a team effort. A real team. Not a “I’m going to tell you how to do things and you’re going to do them or else” team. Which seems easy on paper and gets a whole lot harder the day your significant other dresses your precious child in clothes that are a) miss-matched and b) too small.

Now, while your gut instinct might be to grab the child and rush back into the nursery to fix the wardrobe snafu, stop. Look up. Look at the beaming face of the person who dressed the child and know this: If you redress that child, that person will likely never want to dress the baby again.

There are any number of things that you and your significant other might not see eye to eye on – the importance of color coordination, the need for clean ears, the value of three balanced meals a day – but before you react to what you feel might be substandard attention to detail you have to ask yourself how much you want to be doing on your own.

I have a friend who bathes her children every night because she feels her husband doesn’t do a good enough job. I have another friend who enjoys a five minute break and overlooks a smudge or two that hasn’t been cleaned quite perfectly. Her kids spend more time with their dad.

Being part of a team is all about learning to compromise. The high school team project that was handled by the persnickety member who just couldn’t let go won’t be as well rounded and deep as the one that received equal input from each team member.

Being part of a parenting team is about learning to let go of your vision of how things should be done and embracing the fact that the other person’s way might have its merits. Yes, even if that means your child looks uncoordinated. Don’t worry. The bloom in your baby’s cheeks from the time spent with daddy will more than make up for it. And if it doesn’t, that’s what they make these buttons for.

Daddy Dressed Me

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2 Responses

  1. Ellie says:

    I was a single mom, and we lived in a rich community. I was always concerned my son would be judged unfairly because though his dad was active and present in his life, I didn’t have the cash to dress our son like the other kids were dressed.

    So I made sure he always matched and his clothes were clean and they fit him.

    Now I work in an elementary school, and while there are kids who are very well dressed, there are more kids who wear the same shirt over and over–simply because it’s their favorite, and there are definitely kids who dress themselves…things don’t quite coordinate.

    If you were to ask me about what any of my students wore yesterday, I couldn’t tell you. But I can tell you remarkable things they said, kindnesses they shared, and how much I love spending my days with them.

    So yep, let go of the things that don’t matter!

  2. Gail says:

    Letting go is a huge part of making your life more fun. Getting help, whether it is your way or not, will allow moms to get more done without feeling overwhelmed. Love the post. Thank you!

    Fresh Organizing Ideas for A Fresh Start…http://www.afreshstartorganizing.net/2010/01/organizing-products-dream-drawers/

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